An Interview with a High Performer Pre-Resignation

Preface

Most organisations only conduct exit interviews, often too little and too late. By the time staff have reached that chair, the decision is already made and the letter signed.

What if, instead, we tried a pre-exit interview. Imagine a candid, safe conversation with a high performer right on the edge of leaving. After all, the rumours are usually circulating, the red flags are visible, and the telltale signs are there. These are rarely shockers as we all know when someone is a “flight-risk.”

So the real question is: why wait until it’s over, when you could intervene earlier and maybe pivot the decision?

The Pre-Exit Interview (Mock Transcript)

HR: Thanks for being open to this. I’ll be direct...people have noticed you’ve been quieter, less present. You’re still delivering, but not with the same spark. Can you tell me what’s going on?

High Performer: (sighs) Spark only lasts if there’s oxygen. After a while, you just get tired of fighting for clarity. I’m still doing the work, but I don’t feel it’s leading anywhere.

HR: Leading nowhere? That’s a strong statement. What makes you say that?

High Performer: Because I’ve poured myself into building frameworks, SOPs, processes, only to watch them get rewritten on a whim. Not because of new data or strategy, but because someone dreamt up a “what if” scenario at midnight. It’s snakes and ladders. I climb up, then get yanked right back down.

HR: I hear your frustration. Let me ask you something bluntly. The number one reason people resign is because of their boss or leader. Would you say that’s true in your case?

High Performer: (laughs bitterly) You want honesty? Yes. Absolutely. I can work with difficult colleagues. I can work with tight budgets. What I can’t work with is leadership that runs on emotional guesswork. The one-on-ones we have aren’t conversations but fishing expeditions for validation. My colleagues and I have to either nod along, or you get the frown, the temper, the rant.

HR: That sounds draining. Did you ever try pushing back?

High Performer: Of course. But when your pushback is met with “How can you say that?” instead of “Why do you think that?”, you stop trying. One shuts you down, the other could have built dialogue. That difference alone would have changed everything.

HR: Can we explore a transfer? Maybe a different department or reporting line might ease the pressure.

High Performer: I appreciate you raising that, and I know HR often gets tasked with “fixing culture.” But you can’t transfer out of culture. If the tone at the top doesn’t shift, you just end up carrying the same dysfunction somewhere else. See, my view is that everyone knows his nature and his poor leadership, yet he’s seemingly allowed to carry on. And that seeds a lot of questions in me: is this endorsed by the Board? Does it mean nothing will change, no matter how much feedback or how many 360-degree reviews are done? I want to thrive. I want to be part of a growth culture. But I’ve lost the belief that there is one here. It's just a romantic notion held by the leadership.

HR: If you could leave one message for leadership before walking out the door, what would it be?

High Performer: Stop mistaking competence for infinite tolerance. Just because someone is good at patching holes doesn’t mean you should keep punching new ones in the wall. At some point, even your best people will put the plaster down and walk away.

HR: (pause) We hear you. From this conversation, it’s not a matter of if, but when. We acknowledge you’re a flight risk. And we do appreciate how well you’ve worked with colleagues and clients. That’s never been in question. While you haven’t tendered yet, let’s see how we can start making the transition easier for the company. At the very least, we hope you’ll continue to hold the organisation in high regard when you leave.

Closing Reflection

This transcript is fictional but the context will feel uncomfortably familiar to many. High performers rarely leave without warning signs. The whispers, the disengagement, the quiet pulling back are signals organisations often notice, yet too often choose to ignore until it’s too late.

A pre-exit interview isn’t about pleading with someone to stay. It’s about creating psychological safety to surface truths while there’s still time to act. It means asking the right questions, listening without defensiveness, and showing a genuine willingness to address systemic issues.

There will always be good leaders and poor leaders, but what defines an organisation is how it treats its people and manages its HR responsibilities. Do not just patch over symptoms.

Exit interviews capture regret. Pre-exit interviews capture possibility. The real question is whether leaders want to hear the truth before, or only after, their best people walk out the door.

Why InsideOut Well is Weighing In

While pre-exit interviews are not yet common practice, many employees have longed for such an avenue to feel heard at work. Without it, frustrations spill out in other ways: some vent with colleagues, others quietly withdraw, and some even turn toxic within the environments they remain in.

At InsideOut Well, we caution organisations not to trivialise mental health by conflating it with poor culture or weak leadership. When management or systemic issues are brushed aside and reframed as “staff with personal problems,” it becomes a form of victim-blaming.

Organisations must distinguish between genuine mental health challenges and the corrosive effects of dysfunctional culture. Addressing the latter is not about counselling individuals to cope better. It is about leaders stepping up to create healthier systems where people can thrive.