Many people consider counselling but hesitate due to misconceptions, some shaped by movies and others by the hope that one session will miraculously change everything. The reality is that therapy is a process, not a quick fix. Understanding what truly happens can help set realistic expectations and make counselling a more effective tool for personal growth.
What Happens in Counselling?
Unlike popular belief, counselling isn’t about lying on a couch while a therapist asks, "How does that make you feel?" It is a structured, collaborative effort. The first session often involves understanding your background, concerns, and goals. Over time, therapy helps you develop self-awareness, coping strategies, and behavioural shifts. However, progress depends on consistent effort rather than just attending sessions.
The First Session: What to Expect
Many clients walk into their first session expecting a grand revelation or instant relief. Instead, it is usually about setting the foundation, understanding the client’s story, establishing trust, and setting goals. The therapist may ask questions that feel challenging or even uncomfortable, but these are essential for long-term progress.
How Therapy Differs from the Movies
No dramatic "aha" moments where everything suddenly makes sense.
Therapists do not just listen passively; they ask thought-provoking questions and guide self-reflection.
The work extends beyond sessions. Insights gained in therapy only create change when applied consistently in daily life.
The Work Involved
Many assume counselling is simply talking things out, but real change requires effort. Therapists often assign reflective exercises, journaling, or practical strategies to implement between sessions. The key to improvement lies in action, not just discussion.
The Biggest Mistake: Taking the Leap of Faith
The most common pitfall is expecting a single session to transform one’s world. Therapy is a commitment, much like physical training. It takes repeated effort to see results. Those who approach it as a one-time leap of faith may leave feeling disappointed and unchanged.
Two Common Scenarios
1. The Overwhelmed Breadwinner
John, a 38-year-old sole provider for his family, comes to therapy feeling exhausted and resentful. He hopes for clear-cut answers on managing his responsibilities and reducing stress. In reality, his therapist helps him explore deeper patterns, his fear of disappointing his family, his tendency to take on too much, and his struggle with setting boundaries. Instead of offering a quick fix, therapy equips John with tools to reframe his mindset, communicate effectively, and prioritise his wellbeing.
2. Living with a Difficult Parent
Sarah, a 29-year-old woman living with a controlling mother, enters therapy hoping to "fix" their relationship. She expects her therapist to validate her frustrations and offer strategies to change her mother’s behaviour. Instead, she learns that true progress comes from within, managing her reactions, setting healthy boundaries, and shifting her expectations. Rather than seeking to change her mother, Sarah focuses on strengthening her own emotional resilience.
Why You Should Still Consider Counselling
It is understandable to feel discouraged upon learning that counselling is not a quick fix. However, the reality is that real, lasting change takes time. If you are struggling, avoiding therapy because it requires effort only prolongs your challenges. The work may feel uncomfortable at first, but the benefits far outweigh the initial discomfort. Therapy provides a structured way to navigate difficulties, empowering you with lifelong tools for personal growth. By committing to the process, you give yourself the best chance at a healthier, more fulfilling life.
Understanding the Cost and Number of Sessions
One of the biggest concerns about counselling is the cost, leading many to fixate on the number of sessions they might need. While therapy is an investment, it is important to shift the focus from "How many sessions will it take?" to "How can I make the most of each session?" Some issues may take longer to work through, while others might see progress sooner.
If cost is a concern, consider discussing session frequency with your therapist. Some individuals benefit from weekly sessions, while others find that biweekly or monthly appointments allow them to apply what they have learned before returning. Many therapists also provide tools and exercises to continue progress between sessions, ensuring that each session delivers value.
Rather than viewing therapy as an expense, it helps to see it as an investment in your wellbeing, relationships, and long-term quality of life. The progress made in counselling often leads to improved mental resilience, better decision-making, and more fulfilling interactions, which can ultimately have a positive impact on many aspects of life.
Conclusion
Counselling is a journey, not a single step. The real transformation comes from self-awareness, consistency, and application. While therapy provides guidance, the client must be willing to do the work. By setting realistic expectations and embracing the process, individuals can make the most of their counselling experience and achieve meaningful growth.
Commentaires