Do You Know Why You Are A Perfectionist?

In our fast-paced, efficiency-driven world, two powerful concepts often collide: Kodawari and Know Your Why. On the surface, they seem to be in perfect harmony. Kodawari, the Japanese concept of striving for perfection and dedicating yourself wholeheartedly to a craft, is beautifully complemented by the why—your deep sense of purpose, the reason behind what you do. Together, these principles can create a life of meaningful growth and fulfilment.

But what happens when the two don’t align? What if you have one without the other? Let’s dive deeper into these concepts, explore the risks of practising Kodawari without a why, and understand why, at the end of the day, your why should be the guiding force in everything you do.

Kodawari and Know Your Why: The Ideal Pairing

When Kodawari and Know Your Why work together, the results can be transformative. With a clear why, your pursuit of excellence through Kodawari becomes purposeful, not just for perfection’s sake. Whether it’s improving a skill, growing your business, or refining a personal habit, your why provides the clarity and motivation needed to channel your energy effectively.

The beauty of this combination lies in the harmony between process and purpose. Kodawari becomes the tool you use to honour your why. It’s not about perfection in every area of your life, but about making sure that the things that truly matter receive your best effort. The result isn’t just about doing things right; it’s about doing things with intention, knowing that each step is driving you closer to fulfilling your greater purpose.

When you know why you’re striving for excellence, the process itself becomes as rewarding as the result. The journey is as meaningful as the destination, and your commitment to mastery feels grounded and satisfying. This approach creates an alignment between what you do and why you do it—transforming your daily actions into steps towards something bigger than yourself.

The Pitfalls of Kodawari Without a Why

But what happens if you have Kodawari without a why? This is where the dangers of perfectionism without purpose begin to surface. The pursuit of perfection becomes detached from a deeper mission, leading to several potentially harmful outcomes:

1. Perfection Without Fulfillment

Without a guiding why, the pursuit of Kodawari can quickly become an endless cycle of improvement with no meaningful end. You may find yourself perfecting a skill, habit, or process, but without a deeper purpose behind it, the effort can feel hollow. The sense of accomplishment is fleeting, as there’s no emotional or personal connection to what you’re doing.

2. Burnout and Frustration

A lack of why can turn the disciplined approach of Kodawari into an exhausting, never-ending race. Without a deeper purpose to fuel your dedication, the pursuit of perfection can feel like an obligation rather than a rewarding challenge. This often leads to burnout, where you’re constantly striving for more, but without any sense of when it will be enough.

3. Stagnation

When Kodawari is not driven by a why, it can lead to stagnation. Perfectionism, unchecked by purpose, may cause you to fixate on small details that don’t move the needle in terms of your larger goals. You may end up spending time perfecting something that doesn’t contribute to your overall vision, leaving you stuck in a cycle of minor refinements without meaningful progress.

4. Validation Over Fulfillment

The absence of a why can shift your focus towards seeking external validation. Without a deeper connection to your work, you might seek external approval—be it through accolades, promotions, or societal recognition. But this external validation is fleeting. The real fulfilment comes from knowing that what you’re doing serves a larger, personal mission, not just the approval of others.

The Why Without the Need for Kodawari

Now let’s turn to the flip side: what happens when you have a strong why, but the idea of Kodawari feels like too much? In today’s world, where the 80-20 rule and the “good enough” mentality dominate, the idea of pursuing perfection through Kodawari can seem unnecessary, even counterproductive.

In a fast-paced, results-driven world, it’s easy to argue that no one has the time or energy to devote to perfecting every aspect of their life. The reality is that most people are juggling multiple priorities, and sometimes, the relentless pursuit of perfection can feel tedious, or worse, overwhelming.

The Power of Good Enough

Here, the concept of “good enough” becomes crucial. When you know your why, you have a clear sense of direction. The why helps you cut through the noise and make intentional choices about where to focus your energy. Perfection, in many cases, is not the goal; progress is. With a strong why, you don’t need to perfect everything—just the things that truly matter.

For example, a business owner might focus on creating a product that aligns with their why—to help others live healthier lives—rather than perfecting every marketing detail or making sure every customer interaction is flawless. The goal is not perfection in every area but continuous improvement where it counts most.

Flexibility Over Rigidity

The beauty of having a why is that it provides you with the flexibility to let go of perfection. You can embrace the 80-20 rule, knowing that you can achieve most of your desired outcomes with less than 100% effort, as long as you’re staying true to your purpose. This approach allows you to balance quality with efficiency, reducing stress while staying aligned with your values.

Striking the Balance: Prioritising Your Why with Intentional Kodawari

So, is it better to choose your why over the pursuit of perfection? The answer is yes—why should always come first. A why provides the clarity and motivation to help you navigate the tension between striving for excellence and embracing the “good enough” mentality. But that doesn’t mean you have to discard Kodawari entirely.

Here’s how to strike the balance:

1. Apply Kodawari Where It Counts: Rather than trying to perfect everything, focus your efforts on the areas that truly support your why. This allows you to honour your commitment to excellence without burning out.

2. Embrace Imperfection in Other Areas: For tasks that don’t directly support your why, embrace the 80-20 rule and focus on progress over perfection. This reduces unnecessary pressure and frees up energy for the things that matter most.

3. Purpose-Driven Perfection: When you do engage in the pursuit of Kodawari, make sure it aligns with your larger goals. Perfect the processes that will help you achieve your why, but avoid the trap of perfectionism for its own sake.

4. Reframe Perfection as Progress: Instead of aiming for an ideal, redefine perfection as progress. Each step towards mastery is a success in itself, and it’s the ongoing journey that provides fulfilment.

Final Thoughts: Why Should Always Come First

When you have a clear why, you’ll know where to direct your energy and where to let go of the pursuit of perfection. Kodawari can be a valuable tool when it serves your deeper purpose, but it should never come at the cost of your wellbeing or your mission. Ultimately, it’s your why that gives your life and work meaning. And with that clarity, you can engage in the pursuit of excellence with intention, knowing that what you’re doing matters.

Guided Worksheet: Balancing Kodawari and Your Why

This worksheet is designed to help you explore how the concept of Kodawari (the pursuit of perfection) can be aligned with your deeper why (your purpose). By breaking it down into simple steps, you’ll create a clearer path forward that honours your need for excellence while ensuring you’re focused on what truly matters.

Step 1: Define Your Why

Before we dive into perfectionism, we need to establish a clear sense of your why—your purpose. Your why is the core reason behind what you do, the driving force that keeps you going when things get tough. To start, answer the following questions:

1. What is something I am deeply passionate about?

• Think about what excites and motivates you on a deep, personal level.

2. Why do I want to do this work or pursue this goal?

• Reflect on why this is important to you beyond external rewards or recognition. What impact do you hope to make?

3. What values are most important to me?

• Identify the values that guide your decisions and behaviours in life (e.g., integrity, creativity, service, family, health, etc.).

4. How do I want to feel when I’ve achieved my goal?

• Imagine the end result of your journey. What does success feel like on a personal level?

Step 2: Understanding Kodawari

Now, let’s explore Kodawari—the Japanese concept of striving for perfection with great attention to detail. While it can be a powerful tool for excellence, it can also lead to burnout if misused. Answer these questions to identify where you might be applying Kodawari in your life:

1. What areas of my life or work do I feel the need to perfect?

• List tasks or aspects of your life where you strive for flawless execution, whether at work, home, or in personal development.

2. How do I feel when I don’t achieve perfection in these areas?

• Reflect on your emotional response when things don’t go as planned. Do you feel frustrated, stressed, or defeated?

3. Do I notice patterns of burnout or frustration when I push for perfection?

• Are there specific areas where your pursuit of perfection causes exhaustion or feelings of being stuck?

Step 3: Aligning Kodawari with Your Why

Next, let’s bring Kodawari and your why together. In this step, you’ll figure out where the pursuit of excellence can best support your larger purpose. Not everything requires perfection, but some things might. Let’s focus on those key areas.

1. Which areas of my life or work align most closely with my why?

• Identify where your why is most prominent. These are the areas that benefit most from your dedicated effort.

2. For these areas, how can I apply Kodawari without overextending myself?

• Think about small, deliberate steps you can take to refine these areas while keeping your energy and focus aligned with your why.

3. How will perfecting these areas move me closer to my bigger purpose?

• Reflect on how excellence in these areas will help you achieve the long-term goals tied to your why. What progress can you expect?

Step 4: Letting Go of Perfection in Other Areas

Not everything in life needs to be perfect. In fact, perfectionism in areas that don’t align with your why can drain your energy without offering meaningful returns. Let’s identify where you can embrace “good enough” instead of perfection.

1. Which areas of my life or work are less connected to my why?

• These are the areas that won’t benefit significantly from perfection, such as routine tasks or things that don’t align directly with your larger mission.

2. How can I shift my mindset from “perfection” to “progress” in these areas?

• Reflect on the idea of good enough. How can you focus on progress, improvement, or completion instead of flawlessness?

3. What benefits will I gain by letting go of perfection in these areas?

• Think about how embracing imperfection in these areas will give you more time and energy for the things that truly matter to your why.

Step 5: Creating Your Action Plan

Now that you have clarity on where to apply Kodawari and where to let go of perfection, it’s time to create an action plan. Break down your goals into clear, manageable steps that reflect your why and allow you to embrace the journey rather than fixating on perfection.

1. What are my next steps to align my actions with my why?

• List the specific actions you’ll take in the next week or month to move closer to your purpose.

2. How will I balance striving for excellence with embracing “good enough”?

• Create a plan for where you will strive for perfection and where you’ll focus on progress instead.

3. What self-care practices can I implement to avoid burnout while working towards my goals?

• Reflect on how you’ll take care of your mental and physical health during your journey. Self-care might involve setting boundaries, taking breaks, or practicing mindfulness.

Step 6: Review and Reflect

The last step is ongoing reflection. After following your action plan, check in with yourself regularly. Are you staying aligned with your why? Are you balancing Kodawari with “good enough” effectively?

1. How do I feel about my progress so far?

• Reflect on your emotional state. Are you feeling fulfilled and energised, or stressed and burnt out?

2. Am I still aligned with my why?

• Revisit your purpose and ensure your actions continue to support your deeper mission.

3. What adjustments can I make to improve my approach moving forward?

• Continuous improvement is key. Adjust your approach as needed to ensure a sustainable, fulfilling journey.

Conclusion

By reflecting on your why, exploring Kodawari, and consciously choosing where to apply perfectionism and where to embrace progress, you’ll create a balanced approach that leads to greater satisfaction and less burnout. The goal isn’t to be perfect at everything but to focus your efforts on what truly matters to you. Take time each week to review your progress and adjust your approach, ensuring that your journey is aligned with your purpose and full of meaning. Remember, if this process of self-reflection or tracking feels overwhelming at any point, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Our life coach at InsideOut Well is here to provide the support and guidance you need to stay on track and find clarity in your journey. We’re here to help you align your actions with your purpose in a way that feels manageable and sustainable.