When "Busy" as a Response to "How Are You?" Is a Red Flag

We’ve all done it. Someone asks, “How are you?” and without a second thought, we respond, “Busy.” In many ways, busyness has become a badge of honour: a signal of importance, productivity, and even success. But what if that automatic response is actually a warning sign? What if being constantly busy isn’t just a lifestyle choice, but a slow erosion of wellbeing with consequences we fail to see until it’s too late?

The Culture of Busyness and Its Hidden Cost

Modern society equates busyness with value. We admire those who “hustle” and glorify packed schedules as if they prove our worth. But beneath the surface, chronic busyness often masks deeper issues: unmanaged stress, avoidance of personal struggles, or even a loss of control over our own time.

More concerningly, the long-term consequences of a high-stress, always-on lifestyle are severe. Research increasingly shows that chronic stress is not just unpleasant. It is a major risk factor for long-term health issues, including cardiovascular disease, metabolic disorders, and cognitive decline.

The Link Between Stress and Cognitive Decline

While Alzheimer’s and other neurodegenerative diseases have a genetic component, lifestyle factors, including stress, can significantly influence their onset and progression.

Chronic Stress and the Brain: Long-term stress elevates cortisol, a hormone that, in excess, can shrink the hippocampus—the part of the brain responsible for memory and learning. Over time, this can contribute to cognitive decline and increase the risk of conditions like dementia.
Inflammation and Neurodegeneration: Chronic stress fuels systemic inflammation, a known factor in the development of neurodegenerative diseases.
The Sleep-Stress Connection: Many high-achievers operate on minimal sleep, seeing rest as a luxury rather than a necessity. But poor sleep is one of the most significant risk factors for Alzheimer’s, as it prevents the brain from clearing toxic waste proteins associated with cognitive decline.

The Myth of “I’ll Slow Down Later”

One of the most dangerous assumptions people make is that they can prioritise health later; after the next promotion, after the kids grow up, after retirement. But stress doesn’t wait. The body and brain adapt to stress now, laying the foundation for future health outcomes.

The story of a client’s uncle serves as a sobering example. A powerful figure in public office, he was known for his relentless work ethic and fiery temperament. For years, he lived under immense pressure. But after retirement, when life finally slowed down, his health deteriorated rapidly. He spent the next 12 years battling Alzheimer’s, a stark contrast to the authority and influence he once held. His family was left with a painful realisation—his high-stress lifestyle may have played a role in his decline.

Redefining Success: From Busyness to Wellbeing

If busyness is a red flag, what should we aim for instead? True success isn’t about how packed our schedules are. It’s about having the freedom to live well. This means making choices that align not just with short-term goals, but with long-term wellbeing:

Prioritising Rest: Sleep, recovery, and downtime aren’t luxuries. They are necessities for a resilient mind and body.
Managing Stress Proactively: Whether through exercise, mindfulness, or social connection, stress needs an outlet before it becomes chronic.
Assessing Our Priorities: If we always feel too busy for self-care, meaningful relationships, or even simple joys, it’s time to reassess what we’re working towards.

A New Answer to “How Are You?”

Instead of using “busy” as a default response, what if we shifted the conversation? Imagine answering with:

“I’m engaged in meaningful work, but making time for myself too.”
“I’ve got a lot on, but I feel in control of my time.”
“I’m prioritising what matters most to me.”

These small shifts signal a fundamental change, not just in words, but in mindset. This is because ultimately, how we live today shapes our future health, and success should never come at the cost of wellbeing.

So next time someone asks, “How are you?”, pause before answering. If the word “busy” still comes to mind, it might just be time to take a deeper look at what that really means.