Why We Deflect Good Intentions And How to Overcome It

Have you ever offered someone a great opportunity to better themselves, only to have them dismiss it, delay it, or redirect it to someone else? It’s a frustrating experience, one that raises the question: Why do people resist change, even when it’s in their best interest?

People deflect good intentions for deeper reasons than they may realise. Let’s explore the common fears behind these deflections and how to break through them.

The Hidden Fears Behind Deflection

Fear	How It Shows Up	How to Overcome It
Fear of Change	"I’ve always done it this way. Why start now?"	Change is uncomfortable, but stagnation is worse. Start small. One step is better than none.
Fear of Failure	"What if I try and can’t keep it up?"	Failure isn’t a stopping point; it’s part of progress. Reframe setbacks as learning moments.
Fear of Self-Reflection	"I don’t want to think about what I need to improve."	Growth requires honesty. Instead of avoidance, ask: What’s one thing I could do better?
Fear of Commitment	"I don’t have time for this right now."	If something is important, it deserves space in your life. Prioritise progress over perfection.
Fear of Standing Alone	"No one else is doing this, so why should I?"	Waiting for a crowd delays success. Be the example that inspires others.

How to Break the Cycle

1. Recognise the Pattern – Are you or someone you know constantly deflecting good opportunities? Awareness is the first step.

   
   

2. Challenge the Excuses – If the answer to an opportunity is not now, not me, or someone else should do it, ask: Why am I resisting this?

   
   

3. Take a Small Step – Action builds momentum. Even the tiniest shift can help break the cycle of avoidance.

   
   

4. Surround Yourself with Growth-Minded People – If those around you are also avoiding change, it’s easier to justify staying the same. Seek people who challenge and uplift you.

   
   

5. Accept That It’s Never Too Late – It’s better to start late than not at all.

Final Thought

Deflection is often a defence mechanism, but it doesn’t protect us. It keeps us stuck. The next time you’re tempted to brush off an opportunity for growth, pause and ask yourself: Am I avoiding this because I truly don’t need it, or because it makes me uncomfortable? 

Growth isn’t about waiting for the perfect moment. It’s about embracing change before the moment passes you by.